CAJONES

(The Spanish-speaking world stings the WASP)

Frozen moments' in history
life changing events
(if only in hindsight-right?)
((hindsight is always 20-20))
1972
i'm 14-years young
"The World's Most Famous Arena"
MSG
Light-Weight Championship of the World

The Champ-from Scotland (my heritage)

Beatin' Up by a young Panamanian

The World is changing...
The folk's in Edinboro said:
Ken Buchanon left here as the
Light -Weight Champion of the World!
He returned as a soprano

(The hands of stone-punched the bone-left the Celtic man:
prone)

RIDE MY SEE-SAW

Philosophically-
Where does: All for 1
and
1 for All end (begin?)
And
I am not my brothers' keeper begin (end?)


PS: Wilson-"Woman and Men can be friends"
House-"Blaspheme!'

I'LL STOP WHEN I NEED GLASSES

Urban Legend sez:
If u masterbate-you'll go blind
not true
but, your dominant hand?
just might go numb

(don't fret-use the other hand; at 1st it feels
like somebody else is there)

PS: i am becoming so accomplished at sex
i think i'm ready to try it with a partner

PSS: poor Lani Guinier

Poorer still: St. Augustine
"Lord make me chaste- just not; yet.

Onward (blindly) Christian Soldiers

TAPPA KEGA BIER

i ran for the presidency of my college fraternity.
BETA PI SIGMA
lost by 1 vote
i was actually relieved: i didn't want to be known
on campus
as the Master Beta.

BIG BROTHER

i downloaded from a file-share
U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
i copied the 11 tracks in reverse order
before "Love & Peace or Else" had completed...
Homeland Security was knockin' on the door.

PS: Later that evening-there was a bustle in my hedgegrow
i was not alarmed

NO BALLROOM

i needed underwear -forecast called for rain-ain't pedaling in the pain ...
to do laundry. {negates the effect of the dryer}

so i grabbed a bag off the rack at work-
a 3-pack- "that'll give me time" 6 days
(if you turn-em' inside-out)- ((just kidding))

got up the next mornin'- Oh shit!-boxers

{i've been a jockey-man my whole life(as my father; before: i think these things are genetic
like a blade-man vs. Lectric shave) No matter
Hi Ho i owe- it's off to work i go

Got home late
after working a double-

stripped-down

no itching- no chafing

oh my god

all my life, i've been living in a small hotel

TIME FOR A QUICK ASIDE

(speaking of Quick's- remember how the youngest daughter used to swoon when
Donald walked into the room?)

But i digress..

Kendry Morales hit a walk-off HR on saturday
(i've been predicting this for some time...)
he slipped on home plate as he jumped into his team-mates arms...
and broke his leg

as POPA used to say:
it's all fun & games until somebody
loses an eye

hey Kendry!!

rub some dirt on it...

(LOL)

EXIT MAT

You may now
reclaim
your ego.


Tips Appreciated
Gratuities embraced

CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET

Dre? Dre! There's no snare in my ear...
There, There u go... Yo Yo here we go ...

SALTPETER THIS:
Men convicted of rape
sexual molestation or pedophilia
should be castrated
psychology teaches: sexual predators lust for power
Not Sex

i ask this...
How many Powerful men do u know...
whom are Dickless?

ORIGINAL WRAPPER
tamper proof
or
child-resistant
can't open F-ing anything
unless u are persistent
(all thanx to the fucker who tainted the tylenol)

A PERSONAL APOCALYPSE
i've had my "Kurtz" moment...
-the humour...
-the humor

R.I.P. JIM CROW
i'm boycotting the local laundromat-
their washing machines have separate buttons for
whites & coloreds

CHANNEL-SURFING
As Al Sharpton called Ralph Nadars' Presidential bid
an "Ego-Trip" on CNN
Baby Huey called Miss Piggy
FAT!
on the cartoon network

MUST SEE TV?
Sarah Jessica Parker & James Lipton
are the 2 most untalented and onerous people
The Idiot Box
has ever delivered

Dr. Phil & Larry King?
they're tied for 3rd
&
all those rotating ladies on "the view"

they once walked past the blind seafood attendant
and he asked: "what smells in here"

fox news reporters?
Sixth

FUNK THE WAGNLE
Read the ENCYCLOPEDIA
From A to Z
feel updated on antiquated history
HISTORY (His-Story)
(the fickle finger of fate award?)
or
(the Golden Rule!)
((you bet your sweet bippy))

OH, MY LORD- (Tennyson)
Is it better?
to battle and lose
than never to have battled at all-
then don't give me this shit about
Love

TO THE DEMONS OF THE SHORT-DISTANCE PEDALER:
Bike-Riding is:
great exorcise

401 K plan: FORCED SAVINGS
i. m. o. k. plan:
forced-exercise

CHASING SHADOWS
If u never live in the theoretical
everyday
eventually
will be Groundhog Day
(and my name is Phil Conner)
(( i got u babe))


HMO
jobs pay bills
women soothe ills
me?
i'll take health
1st

ON THE ROAD TO SMARTVILLE
if u were not particularly perceptive
as a young man
years alone
will not make you wiser, bud

NO SUPER-SIZING SCRIPTURE
your body is a temple
Not
a Coliseum

FULL OF BOLOGNA
Mrs. Dr. Atkins claims:
the controversy surrounding her husbands' death certificate is:
an "Ultra-Ultra"
vegetarian conspiracy

HOW NOW GROUND COW?
The cattle are going mad!
chickens' have the flu
if u are a carnivore?
we'll whisper a prayer for u
(life in the slaw lane)

WRONG-STEP PROGRAM
putting an obese person on a diet is
tantamount to
limiting an alcoholic to
lite-beer & wine

BUSH-WHACKED
For the life of me
i cannot figure out how anyone is surprised
at the lack of
American Intelligence

THE SHEPHERDS' CUT
People flocked to "The Passion"
en mass

NATURE'S WAY
Compared with the morning glory
and the sound of
the nightingales' song
what occurs in-between is
almost unatural

NOT FAR FROM THE TREE
Dear Madre mia:
Since the loss of (Y)our POPA
have u seen him again
in your sons?

ORIGINAL SPIN?
how come?
Iceland is mostly green
&
Greenland is mostly ice?
(not any more,((al gore)) sez Inspecter Clusseau)

THE BOOK
The knowledge in me
comes from
a Hodgepodge of Potpourri
much like those answers & questions on
Jeopardy

SOMEBODY CALLED ME: SEBASTIAN

Nail-biter
Pacifist Fighter
often wish my teeth were whiter
once was lost, but then found
Bound & Wound
tighter & tighter

... took a breath, bent an ear
took a look
oh so clear

took a step...back
so out of whack...

Greet the dawn- don't feel forlorn

Go fall on your face
on a new mown lawn.

AN EXISTENTIAL CREED

Now that you've grown, and this lifes' your own
it's Time to face what is known
Blame not-your Mother
not your Father or brother
For chances that came & were blown
don't curse your lover or
TIMES' Magazine cover

don't if but, don't how 'bout...don't groan

Look in the mirror
Is the answer now clearer?

Accept any blame
as your own

REALIZATIONS

LIFES A LONG SONG
Cherish
all your
Associations

MY NAIVE MELODY
i was born at night;
just not, last night

DEAR DIARY:
When my mood is blue
i often compose letters
i know i'll never send
to you

40 WINKS
i used to count sheep,
Now?
i count shadows

GRECIAN FORMULA
It now takes me all day
to do
what i used to do all day

ADVANCED GRECIAN FORMULA
As i grey i ponder...
Spaulding? or
Dorian?

BON APPETIT' EINSTEIN
ART
bore
SCIENCE
a son
they call him Chef

MANS' BEST FRIEND
i've had 4 significant others
in my life
and all i really miss is
my dog

AS A BAT...
i am as blind as
3-mice
combined

NO DUMBO
an Elephant i know
recently trumpeted his envy
at my power of recollection

HI HO HI HO
it's finally time to go
Hope to see u on
the next Plateau

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ODE TO ANDY
15 minutes of humbleness
Yields
a better society
than
15 of fame

A PRAYER FOR JOHN IRVING
Keep your hands on the wheel, your eyes on the road
Yet,
don't deny fate, Beware the Undertoad

KUDOS TO POPA JOE
A Kiss is just a kiss
embrace your
Inner Bliss

BRAVO TO BRENDA
Writing is:
doubt-induced &
ego deflating
Reading your words is
elevating

VIVE' Le VONNEGUT
i became Malachi Constant
when i found
Fiber is:
The Breakfast of Champions

JUST PUSH/PLAY BALL
Baseball is my wife
as
Music is:
the soundtrack of our life

A SMALL FRUIT BALLAD
The peach loved the apple
to the core
&
they became a pear.

SMOKEYS' SONG-GOOD HIBERNATIONS
Only you can prevent the stoking
of your
Internal fire

HOW SWEET IT IS...
u know what u get when u tap into a maple tree?
now
try tapping into yourself

THANK YOU, MORISSETTE
To spout false is a curable ill
even as truth is
A jagged little pill

THE CHAMELEONS' CODA
CH-CH-CH CHANGES
are the only constant

REAL GOOD FOR FREE
Let your little light- Shine
Joni M.

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME
aint' Charlie

CHAPTER FOUR

PALETTE THIS:
Why?
do we try
emotionally
to paint everything
Black or White
when
intellectually we know
Life is gray?

MIMIC THIS:
Imitation is:
the greatest form
of
lack of individuality
Flattery is:
often just
lip-service

PROFILE THIS:
people retract
from those who look different
yet
the worst of men
always look
like your next-door neighbor.

PACIFIST THIS:
Call me a wussy
Call me a whore
you can change more minds
with a pen
than a sword.

THIS:
this

TANGO U.
Colleges are:
Institutes of higher-finance
well-meaning Parents
fund the dance.

SUPERFICIAL-CULTURALISTIC-don't be CHAUVENISTIC
Picture everyone turned
inside-out
now who's the most attractive?

SKIN DEEP
A physically beautiful woman
who revels
in her inner resentment
is
far less attractive
than a plain-jane
who
reveals her inner contentment.

NEED TO BREED?
Teach your children
Lifes' values
as
they teach you
the value of Life.

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR STEED
Singularly-gifted people
whom inspire us with their Art
should be exempt
from modeling-
roles

CHOCK FULL-OF-NUTS
i live in this maze
among the great unwashed
and defiantly slighty crazed.

IN THE COMPANY OF STRANGERS
A friend is:
a need ,
indeed.

HELP WANTED:
you see a Doctor
to find out what's wrong
whom
do you see?
to confirm
what's right.

BANG & BLAME
The causes
that made you what you were
are a poor excuse
for failing
to become what
you
can
BE


PENE IN HAND
The difference between
making a statement
and jerking-off
depends upon the intent
behind
your instrument

END OF THE STRING
Today-
only Puppets
have
Bully-Pulpits

CHAPTER THREE

MY KINGDOM FOR A SONG
Wouldn't you be troubled (Ask if i dare) if another nations' anthem sang about Bombs
bursting in air?

DUCT & COVER
Remember that John Travolta TV movie about that boy in the bubble?
Well, that's the model for Homeland Security &
Oh! Boy- Are we in trouble?!?...

FOR ALL ?
Gay marriage or the Afghan War? Look at the polls (but wait....there's more...)
As we debate god in the pledge how 'bout takin' out indivisible instead.

PIGGY-BACKING PROHIBITED
Those who cannot see "the forest for the trees"
should not stand
on the shoulders of Giants.

NO SWIMMING (Until you see the light)
Shallow people should stay out of the deep end of the Gene pool

THE CURRICULUM
In the school of higher learning
ETHICS
is not an elective
CIVICS
should be required

RULE OF (TOM) THUMB
Nothing dwarfs a mental midget

FLASH-IN-A-PAN
Clever is a gifted intellect
at his laziest

CHAPTER TWO

TO: The Agape romantic- Love is= a joining of heart, a melding of soul: it completes one. Love makes one whole.

TO: The Hopeless romantic-Love rhymes with dove. Tomb and Bomb
should

TO: The Erotic romantic-Lust is a Big Bust.

TO: The Barefoot romantic- Love is a many splintered thing ...

EGO-CENTRIC ?
There are too many I's in this world.

ETHNO-CENTRIC ?
Nationalism causes dysfunction in the family of man.

COSMOS-CENTRIC ?
The Earth revolves around the sun
The world evolves despite you.

EC-CENTRIC !
Your 6th sense is = the other 5
combined

ON YOUR MARKS: If u think race has a place in judging Quality-of-Character?
you should be whistled for a false start! GET SET: If Martians became Terrorists
would we band together as Inter-Terrestials? GO: Say what U mean what U say
OK?

FLOCK YOU
Organized religion is the single greatest detriment to a spiritual life.
(Packed like lemmings in uncomfortable wooden rows) PEW!

SIMON SHOULDVE SAID
Christianity as religion is theology's greatest hypocrisy

MORONS BY PROXY
As Intellects & Zealots argue Darwinism vs. Creationism i see everyone
de-volving.

BLIND FAITH
An eye for an eye- leaves both with impaired vision

STRAINED BREW
religion is exclusive. god is inclusive. A Politik steeped in religion?
Devisive.

WANNABEES
Everyone i know wants to go to heaven. No one i know is un-packed and ready to go.

MAD DOGMA or CANNIBAL LECTURE?
Would you rather jump on the ship behind the Hale-Bopp comet?
or consume your Messiah and pray not to vomit

HEY JUDAS
How can there be liability in destiny???
(How can there be hate in fate)

CHAPTER ONE

WELCOME MAT
Check your ego at the prologue, you may claim it back at the exit mat.

PROLOGUE
Lost & Found i'm unrenowned, after much diversion had my conversion & god was kind
left me not blind but opened my eyes to witness lifes' rich surprise.

CONCEPTION
Passion is the offspring of the union between emotion and intellect.

BIRTHS
Born 1st from your mother,find life and love like no other
Born again from no other,out of self you find your brother
inside of each and every other
Born 1st as a reader,delight in story and follow the leader
Born again weighted lighter,find your passion and become the writer.

THE ROAD TO TIBET
From womb to tomb, from home to tome, hear the universe humm
AH-OM AH-OM

THE ELECTRIC CO.
There's an outlet to the pulse of life. The inspiration to create comes from plugging in.

A PERSONAL CREED
Be true to your values or life will be false to you.

A BOHEMIAN CREED
i am uniquely unencumbered by the constraints of my culture.

AN ARTISTS CREED
There are no original thoughts, just original thinkers

A SINGLE MANS CREED
You live with others, i have to live with myself.

SOUND & VISION
See with your soul; hear with your heart, question your eyes and ears.

INWARD EXPANSION
Isolation and introspection are the gateway to spiritual renewal

WALK THE TALK
Live your beliefs or no one will believe you

A LAD QUITE SANE
Fairy tales grant wishes. Wish only to take life not for granted

THE ISOLATED MAN
The difference between loneliness and solitude is simply and purely your attitude

THE INTROSPECTIVE TOURIST
Contemplation takes you places that travel only teases

A SHORT COMMUTE
Mecca is a place, you can plan your itinerary, Nirvana is a space
In you find your sanctuary

TREADING TRODDEN TRAILS
Life is a journey-Destinations are cul-de-sacs

UNDER THE LOOKING GLASS
The differences between us are microscopic compared to our similarities

RULE OF ENGAGEMENT
Offer your life over the benefit-of-a-doubt
before you ever take one

BROTHERS IN ALMS
Man would have no rift if he'd understand life is a shared gift

Rx: LITERARY LEVITRA
Words offer impotent symbols to convey lifes' passions

NO PRESCRIPTION NEEDED
Unspoken deeds speak volumes.

The TOWER of BLOG

Among the wires & pipes of the mathematic circuits of the modern nights, i asked the
Huffington Post: "How lonely does it get?" The Huffington Post hasn't answered yet
but i can hear Ariana huffin' and a puffin' all night long- a hundred floors above me (as i burn like a log)
in
The Tower of Blog.

FORWARD

People are crazy and times are strange. I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care but things have changed.
Robert Zimmerman

If I'd known I was gonna live this long, I would've taken better care of myself.
# 7

It's Deja Vu all over again.
Yogi

Ever heard of Veja Du ? It's the sudden feeling that everything is new.
But no, just as quickly you realize, it's the same old shit.
Stephen Wright

I am America and so can you! and that brings us to tonights' WORD
Stephen Colbert

Bird is the word
Seth MacFarlane

Truth 1st revealed is ridiculed. Later- it is opposed
Later still it is realized as self evident.
( i dunno, some smart fella')

INTRODUCTION
i am the bastard child of the unholy union between Joseph Campbell & Oscar Wilde.
i am a hero with 1000 faces who tends to dominate conversations because it saves time
and prevents arguments.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO.......

PREFACE
Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by
anybody else, these pages must show.
David Copperfield

I'm sentimental, if you know what I mean. I love the country but I can't stand the scene.
And I'm neither Left or Right, I'm just staying home tonight. Getting lost in that hopeless
little screen. But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that Time cannot decay
I'm junk but I'm still holding up this little wild bouquet.
Leonard Cohen

All of us are scoundrels, some of us just less so.
Billy Shakes

Lust makes the best of men behave out of character.
Jenny Fields

And what is good, Phaedrus. And what is not good-
Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?
Robert Pirsig

I recieved a message from god ((in the form of a rainbow))
Instructions from Captain Gerard
Me'shell Ndegeocello

Heaven help him, when he falls
Helen Folasade Adu

Just believe in destiny, don't care what people say,just follow your own way.
Enigma

LIFE IS A SERIES OF ROOMS

It matters with whom you get stuck in the room.
i've been changing rooms my whole life. i'm half -a-century +
i ain't changin' rooms no more.

Please understand my need for privacy.
Pity, if you must, my self-inflicted isolation
its my middle path (through contemplation)
to find knowledge, wisdom, enlightenment
Think you well or think you ill of me
i just want all of us free to be

PS:
Confirm or so help me, me
and other furniture in this room
will kick you
the fuck out.

(PSS:)
as the ebb and flow of the tide against the shore
erosive Time has slowly worn the edges off my sharp personality
leaving a more tolerant,if not yet tolerable:man.

(PSSS:)
to the sandy jacobys of this world:u aint cuttin' in my line

ON THE ROAD TO DAMASCUS

Once Saul, now paul
Epiphanized
i've dropped my blinder
neither prophet
nor
stone-age man
i don't own an axe
or
a stone-grinder

JESUS SPEAKS

As is so popular in our time
i thought i should write a memoir

How narcisstic
How so?
(H)ego-driven
How so?
testosterone driven
ego-narcisstic

So, i asked others to write for me

my mother, my brother
my best friend
my worst enemy
my wife, her sister
my mistress,her pimp
an innocent bystander
a good samaratain
his financial advisor
and
(after a long dramatic pause....)

...a snake in the desert

i took their words
to an ecumenical publishing house
they, in turn,
hired a writing team
a staff of 4
whom
i'd not met before

and now for your perusal
i offer my memoir
they call it
"the new testament"

signed, anonymous

(Amen)

PS:
and now i will ride off slowly
thru gates East
on my small white ass

PSS:
(i write under the pseudonym
"anonymous"
To my admirers:
attribute anything you've ever heard untraceable
to a reliable source to me.
To my critics:
i never said that.

HOLA

You have entered of your own free will the blogosphere of an existential zen secular liberterian

living in the state of ever becoming...

An insensitive clod pinned in a half-Nelson, a round hole in a square- pegged world.

Not unlike the pen of Robert Burns or the horn of Uncle Willie, i'm pedaling solo

not

jockeying a philly.

Before we move on...a toast... nostrovia, salud', broast

Raise your glass and tip a long cold yard

now

i'll wax poetic, i'll attempt to be the bard

what ensues is my calling card...











FROM THE SPIRITUAL

TO THE SATIRICAL

FROM THE RIDICULOUS

TO THE SUBLIME

THIS

LITTLE BLOG

ESPOUSES

SOME

SURREAL

TRUTHS

OF

MINE







DEDICATED TO ;



ee cummings

THANX FOR CHANGING

THE RULES

OF

FORM

&

STRUCTURE