PRESIDENCY

n. The greased pig in the field of american politics.

CHRISTIAN, n. One who belives that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

i dreamed i stood upon a hill,and, lo!
the godly multitudes walked to and fro
beneath, in sabbath garments fitly clad,
with pious mien,appropriaetly sad,
while all the church bells made a solemn din-
a fire-alarm to those who lived in sin
then saw i gazing thoughtfully below
with tranquil face, upon that holy show
a tall, spare figure in a robe of white
whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.
"God keep you,stranger" i exclaimed. "You are
no doubt (your habit shows it) from afar;
and yet i entertain the hope that you,
like these good people, are a Christian too"
He raised his eyes with a look so stern
it made me with 1000 blushes burn
replied-his manner with disdain was spiced:
"What! I a Christian? No, indeed! I'm Christ"

G.J.

the devil's dictionary
(ambrose bierce)