CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET

Dre? Dre! There's no snare in my ear...
There, There u go... Yo Yo here we go ...

SALTPETER THIS:
Men convicted of rape
sexual molestation or pedophilia
should be castrated
psychology teaches: sexual predators lust for power
Not Sex

i ask this...
How many Powerful men do u know...
whom are Dickless?

ORIGINAL WRAPPER
tamper proof
or
child-resistant
can't open F-ing anything
unless u are persistent
(all thanx to the fucker who tainted the tylenol)

A PERSONAL APOCALYPSE
i've had my "Kurtz" moment...
-the humour...
-the humor

R.I.P. JIM CROW
i'm boycotting the local laundromat-
their washing machines have separate buttons for
whites & coloreds

CHANNEL-SURFING
As Al Sharpton called Ralph Nadars' Presidential bid
an "Ego-Trip" on CNN
Baby Huey called Miss Piggy
FAT!
on the cartoon network

MUST SEE TV?
Sarah Jessica Parker & James Lipton
are the 2 most untalented and onerous people
The Idiot Box
has ever delivered

Dr. Phil & Larry King?
they're tied for 3rd
&
all those rotating ladies on "the view"

they once walked past the blind seafood attendant
and he asked: "what smells in here"

fox news reporters?
Sixth

FUNK THE WAGNLE
Read the ENCYCLOPEDIA
From A to Z
feel updated on antiquated history
HISTORY (His-Story)
(the fickle finger of fate award?)
or
(the Golden Rule!)
((you bet your sweet bippy))

OH, MY LORD- (Tennyson)
Is it better?
to battle and lose
than never to have battled at all-
then don't give me this shit about
Love

TO THE DEMONS OF THE SHORT-DISTANCE PEDALER:
Bike-Riding is:
great exorcise

401 K plan: FORCED SAVINGS
i. m. o. k. plan:
forced-exercise

CHASING SHADOWS
If u never live in the theoretical
everyday
eventually
will be Groundhog Day
(and my name is Phil Conner)
(( i got u babe))


HMO
jobs pay bills
women soothe ills
me?
i'll take health
1st

ON THE ROAD TO SMARTVILLE
if u were not particularly perceptive
as a young man
years alone
will not make you wiser, bud

NO SUPER-SIZING SCRIPTURE
your body is a temple
Not
a Coliseum

FULL OF BOLOGNA
Mrs. Dr. Atkins claims:
the controversy surrounding her husbands' death certificate is:
an "Ultra-Ultra"
vegetarian conspiracy

HOW NOW GROUND COW?
The cattle are going mad!
chickens' have the flu
if u are a carnivore?
we'll whisper a prayer for u
(life in the slaw lane)

WRONG-STEP PROGRAM
putting an obese person on a diet is
tantamount to
limiting an alcoholic to
lite-beer & wine

BUSH-WHACKED
For the life of me
i cannot figure out how anyone is surprised
at the lack of
American Intelligence

THE SHEPHERDS' CUT
People flocked to "The Passion"
en mass

NATURE'S WAY
Compared with the morning glory
and the sound of
the nightingales' song
what occurs in-between is
almost unatural

NOT FAR FROM THE TREE
Dear Madre mia:
Since the loss of (Y)our POPA
have u seen him again
in your sons?

ORIGINAL SPIN?
how come?
Iceland is mostly green
&
Greenland is mostly ice?
(not any more,((al gore)) sez Inspecter Clusseau)

THE BOOK
The knowledge in me
comes from
a Hodgepodge of Potpourri
much like those answers & questions on
Jeopardy