THE IMPERFECT PERFECT GAME:

(-Gallaraga's lament-Joyce's regret- )

Armando Gallaraga got robbed the other night,(no this is not a Jimmy Breslin crime-story)
of Baseball infamy. On the 27th out of a so-far "Perfect Game"- umpire Jim Joyce(despite obvious visual evidence to the contrary) called
Luke Donald safe at 1st base on a bang-bang play. ((ironic that it was a flip from the 1st baseman to Gallaraga covering-wasn't it)) thus ending his quest to become the 21st pitcher in history to
record a perfect game.
{If Austin Jackson had not done his best impression of a young Willie Mays since Jim Edmonds 1 out earlier-i would not be writing this}

NY Sports Talk-Radio exploded. Fans and pundits, Hosts and most else joined in the feeding frenzy:

COMMISSIONER SELIG SHOULD OVERTURN THE BLOWN CALL AND DECLARE A
PERFECT GAME!

Say what?!?
Baseball rules allow a game to be protested on the terms that an umpire has misinterpreted
a rule. No rule has been misinterpreted here. The Commissioner has no authority, and no one
is protesting anyway( at least no one with gravitas; not the Tigers, the Indians or Gallaraga)
{ and if he were to do so-if i were the head of the MLB umpires' Association-i would take
my people off the field. It's a question of integrity.}

THIS IS THE WORST CALL IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAME!

Say what?!? (again)
You evidently don't know your history-
1985 World Series.Game 6 Cardinals vs. Royals
Cardinals up 3-2 in the Series, and up 1 run in the 9th.
Ground ball by Jorge Orta-routine play-( a much less closer play than Wed. night)
We were ready to dance in the streets of St. Louis!
and umpire Don Denkinger signals -SAFE.
The rest is history. The Royals rally-Dane Iorg singles in the winning run-We are going to
a Game 7. John Tudor implodes-Royals Win! the Royals Win! Buddy Biancalana gets
his 15 minutes of Fame-and instead of celebrating in St. Louis the ump is hanging in effigy from the Arch, & they are dancing in the streets of
Kansas City
A bad call cost the St. Louis Cardinals a World Series Championship.
A bad call cost the kid a perfect game.
Place it on the scales of justice-the worst call ever?!?

ITS TIME FOR INSTANT REPLAY!
demands the fan.
NO-IT'LL RUIN THE GAME
remands the purist:" This is America's Pastime. It's the human element that makes the game.;
Have you never been to the Hall of Fame?"

Purist my Purist:i will listen to your argument if 1st you agree to:
Stop replay on Home Runs. Stop QWEST. Ban protective armor on batters.Abolish the D.H.
Outlaw artificial surfaces and indoor competition.Raise the mound. Have 1 division in each
league(no playoffs)
AL CHAMP vs. NL CHAMP
Best of 9-
and oh
All African-Americans & dark-skinned Latinos-sit out
or go play in your own backyards.

While we are at it:
Players must travel by train(no more games on foreign soil)and you Baseball writers':
no more Lap-Tops in the press box, bang on your old typewriter and send some copy boy
running to make a deadline(like Red Smith).

(have i covered all the bases?)

Don't worry, i'm not just dissing you Baseball guys-but...
Mr. Gammons, Frank DeFord,
George Will- take a chill Pill
Wake up and taste the peanuts & cracker jacks.


Do you want the naked-eye at the Kentucky
Derby to judge a photo-finish?
Why not a man to decide-did Michael Phelps really touch the
wall 1st?

Let's not have shot-clocks, coach's challenges or goalie masks.

Look-is this what you want?
Go watch Golf.

It's called progress, folks. Be like Paul Hewson sings and stay "stuck in a moment you can't
get out of"- or be more Billy Joel-"The good old days weren't always good & tomorrow aint'
as bad as it seems".

IT WILL INTERRUPT THE FLOW OF THE GAME!

The "flow of the game?"
Do you watch the game-or ESPN?
Batter Up!- not Mike Hargrove (the human rain delay) or Nomar's batting glove obsession
Play Ball!-not mound meetings behind glove -covered faces
((Lip-readers are watching))and then the catcher signals with nail-polished fingers-
Say what?(with redundancy)
Didn't you just have a conversation?

No- let's have the manager run on the field over a judgement call-Yell! Scream!-KickDirt!
(all to no avail other than an early exit- so he can expletive deliviate for 5 more expensive,expansive minutes)

Let's go to the Video-tape. It's Time.
i love Baseball-it's in my blood like holy wine-it's Time!

As to the kid-
Ask the purist: Name the 20 hurlers who threw a perfect game?
After 7 or 8- they stumble-running to their search engines...

In a strange way (Truth is stranger than fiction):
Armando Gallaraga will go down in Baseball Lore...( in the greatest game that Abner Doubleday
didn't invent) as the only man to pitch an imperfect perfect game.

PS : just opining from the cat-bird seat. It's a beautiful day...
Let's play 2!

PSS: David Halberstam-just rolled over
or maybe it was Shirley Povich
(i don't expect that they'll ever get back...)

PSSS: (i love these PS'S too much-don't u think?)
What do u do with an elephant with 3 balls?
You walk him and pitch to the giraffe. Are u kiddin' me! From the letters to the knees-
what piece of lumber is he going to swing. + the elephant?
he'll gum-up the bases worse than Jorge Posada

PS-(INFINITY):
It's ROOT! ROOT! ROOT! for the Home Team...
at the old ball game